Heaven is for real.

I saw something today that you need to see. See it for what we know, which is simple: Heaven is for real.

This young man passed away this Christmas. Watch his eyes and his smile as he talks about cheating death and what he saw. A reassurance that we can be sad because we lose someone but don't be sad they've moved on.

That place is ultimately amazing.

Part 1: Is here.

Part 2: Is here.

Time.

Time flies. We literally blinked and lost a month and a half, with Christmas sneaking into view in little over a day. And as the holiday approaches, there has been a lot of thinking - especially in light of recent events.

This past week we celebrated Karen's birthday for the first time, without her; she would have been 66 years old. We miss her. Today, while Christmas shopping Tyler took me completely by surprise - insisting that we get Matt a gift (of food) that his Mom always provided without fail each Holiday. He looked at me and said "Grandma never missed it." We bought three.

It occurred to me that we should appreciate the greatest gift of all this Christmas season, which is time. Time to be with our families and loved ones. Most importantly time to say "I love you" and "I appreciate you." When everything is crazy on Christmas day, I challenge you to find a quiet spot in the middle of the chaos. Focus on the positives and be thankful for the time you have with your loved ones. The memories you make will be with you, always.

Walker beware.

You're walking... and light or dark it makes no difference. To the naked eye, the coast looks clear - no obstacles or watch outs. Smooth sailing to your destination. Then, out of nowhwere there are tiny pieces materialize like Rambo in the forest. They are everywhere... i the carpet, on the rug, on the hard wood floor. They lie in wait for a moment of attack, usually on the bottom of your foot. Brutal attack!

And, every time, their desired result rules. There is an adult in nearly every household across the country howling in pain and frustration. I bet they even smile and lego high-five, waiting for the next sucker to come along.

Stop Bullying.

There's a lot of buzz about a video that is up on Youtube, seen here.

Honestly, I was moved to tears when I saw this. My heart goes out to this young man who represents so many kids who are hurt deeply at a young age by the words an actions of others. Words and simple actions drive deep to a kid's soul, intended or not. Unfair, unkind and just plain wrong.

Believe your words and actions can be impactful and use them for good, always. Believe that everyone makes a difference. Just imagine.... this could be any kid, including yours and mine.

Give a kid a camera

And you'll see the world through his eyes. J took my old camera for a spin this fall and we were sorting images... turns out he's got a pretty good eye!


(See the grasshopper? He's hiding...)

A winter's poem, just for you.

Rub a dub dub, a boy in the shower (not tub).
He sat on the drain,
The water grew high.
Never so fast did we see his dad fly,
Up the stairs to the shower at hand,
On the wet floor his father did land.

Out of the shower a bit too late,
Look up at the ceiling and you've seen our fate.

The rub a dub boy, lucky is he...
To run around and remain free.
All the water going down took mad skills,
and prompts his lovely parents to go buy more Killz.

Happy Holidays! Boy up for auction.... soon... LOL.

No secrets here

It's no secret I love my camera. Nor is it a secret I love certain folks to photograph or that I'm a walking quote machine. Matt recently mentioned that I've become a walking affirmation... which I promptly took as a compliment.

So, friends. Meet where the two worlds collide (click the image to see full size). Glad to be me!

Reflections

These past two weeks have been nothing short of heart wrenching.

It all started with this. Tonight, please pray for the families. They need the love and good thoughts more than anything. One boy is no longer here and the other is just out of a coma with a body that is unbelievably broken.

There are no words to describe the sorrow, anger, frustration and questioning that goes on when a life is taken so soon. A life unfinished. Only the comfort that God has a plan and we have a purpose - and when our purpose is up, we go Home to Him. It's something we, as adults, have come to comrehend and understand.

Kids experiencing first-time loss of someone so close, are another thing. Both boys and their families have an extremely personal connection to our home. Tyler played hockey with Braedon the weekend before he was taken. I have discovered that if I can manage to keep it together there is absolutely no way I can do so when I see my grown boy cry. It breaks my heart again and again.

This has reminded our family more than ever that time is precious. Life is short. We are not in the driver's seat. When it is our time, will we be ready to say "I did the best I could most days - forgive the few I was off my rocker."

This is also a call for a reminder of resolution. Hug your children. Don't go to bed angry. Don't leave the house without clear communication. Don't sweat the small stuff. Be patient. Take a lot of photos and video. Most of all, be present at all times and engage. Don't take moments for granted. Make sure those around you know how very loved they are.

School Photos

We've all been throught he schtick of school photos. Line up, hope there isn't anyone licking their fingers and pressing hair down of all the hopeless children who were scheduled after recess for the most important mug shot of the year. And, the dreaded basket (or bucket) of black combs. You know the kind - stiff, thin bristled and perfect for leaving nice, traceable lines throughout the hair. My Mom used to WARN us - stay away from the combs. Don't let them comb your hair.. until one year she got me after recess. I think she changed her mind.

School photos are usually a mixed bag these days. The packet for ordering is akin to a personality test - colors, poses, backgrounds, tchotchkies. Need a bookmark, pin or plaque? No. We want a good shot commemorating the year, which is plenty. I take a LOT of photos anyhow... so it only makes sense we use the ones I can control, right?

Speaking of control, take a look below. I have none. Jackson chose a shirt that he loved for picture day and left the house (and car at the curb of school) wearing just the shirt with jeans. A nice, respectable outfit. Imagine our surprise when we opened the packet to see that Jackson had smuggled a (NON MATCHING!) accessory to school. The teachers told a funny story - assuming we knew. He found his favorite male teacher and asked for help knotting the tie properly.

I could freak out about the funny photo but I actually love it. This is Jackson at his finest - adding his own flair to the photo on his own terms. I think this school picture turns out to be my favorite.

Anniversary time...

Today we celebrate our 16th wedding anniversary. Interesting, as it doesn't feel like we've been married 16 years .

The notion it's been a while is reinforced - every great memory, every big moment in the last (nearly)couple decades- the good and not-so-good I've had a partner and rock by my side. I often wonder how others make it work when they don't have someone like I do - I admire them and immediately sink into gratitude and thankfulness. Thankful someone will put up with me (admission: I'm not always a treat), compromise, be there for me and our children and support me when I'm not strong.

I like this married thing. I think we'll keep it going for quite some time ahead!

Back to school; Senior Year and Fifth grade edition

It's back to school around here, with both boys back into the swing of things. It's interesting as I compare/contrast what's going on with each of them... because once upon a time it was a *good* idea to have children 7 years apart... a few fun things I've noticed:

T: Sleep late, fly into the shower, eat food on the way out the door, drives to school.
J: Up early, eventually to a coaxed shower, eats rarely in the morning, driven to school.

T: Can I hang with a friend? I'll be back home by 10:30-10:45 (PM!).
J: I'm tired, going to bed (at 8:45 PM!).

T: Up at noon on the weekend.
J: Up at 6 AM on the weekend.

Now comes the intersting part, which as just started this year:
T: Dressed, ready to go.
J: T, how do I look? Can I wear this? Can I borrow one of your shirts instead?

T: You can't do that with your hair.
J: (Instead of saying go fly a kite like usual) Ok, help me.

T: Wear these shoes.
J: Ok.

It's never dull... and I'll admit, they're both growing so fast!

Another first.

Seems like I've been around the block enough to have met all the 'firsts.' Apaprently not... which is great news. This matches the I'm-not-as-old-as-my-numbers-soon-say philosophy. ;-)

Today Tyler and I went shopping. That's not new. What was? We were shopping for a few things to wear in his Senior Pictures. My cherub, roll-around-on-the-floor-cause-he's-so-round baby is a month from starting Senior year.

Shopping was fun, stories were fun and I am reminded to soak in every moment. Kids rock.

Summer.

Adjectives that come to mind today to suit the season: hot, cold, busy, fun, crazy, sleepy, nocturnal, inspiring, neverending. That about sums it up (today). And today has a bonus of two favorite things in today's photo: baseball + J.

Trick of the week.

When your boy is smelly and sweaty and you wish he'd be cleaner, you have options. Dump a bowl of these into the shower with him and you'll be surprised how long he stays in, cleans up and no longer notices the horrific parental anguish you're projecting on him.

Score? Me 1, kiddo 0.

I should be more clear.

Topic: Fly Fishing
Opportunity: Professional-run seminar on fly fishing, upcoming on the St. Croix

Discussion:
- "Hey, there's a really cool fishing guy holding a class"
- "Yeah? On what?"
- "Fly fishing, it's supposed to be really cool."

LONG, QUIET PAUSE.

- "I'm not up for that, it seems like it'd be dangerous."
... Me... thinking. You can hear the hampsters running....- "It's pretty straightforward... what seems dangerous?"
- "Do you like open the door and throw your line down when you're traveling at high speed?
- ... Me, light bulb going on
- "No. There are no planes involved."
- New response: "I'd love to!"

Note to self: be clear, especially when talking new topics. And by the way - you wouldn't find me fishing out of a plane at any point in my life, either!

Speakin' the Greek

My appreciation goes out today to my Mom and Dad... and all the other Moms and Dads of current or once teenage(d) kids. While the phrase "patience is a virtue" plays over and over in my head, all I can dream of is a fully compliant little drone that has five phrases:

- "Yes Mother, I'd love to."
- "I'll get the garbage, it's looking full."
- "I can't wait to pick up those wet towels and do my laundry."
- "You're absolutely right."
- "I wouldn't dream of taunting my brother, I love and cherish our relationship so very much."

Oh (wistfully...) a girl can dream...

Laser hair removal?

Jackson and I were headed to an appointment the other day. Queue the sun, radio and at least 25 minutes stretched out ahead of us in the form of pavement. My mind wandered (safely) to tasks yet to knock off for the day and I was loosely aware of a commercial on the radio. "

I was snapped to when the commercial (for laser hair removal, of all things) turned conversational:

J: "You don't need laser hair removal"
Me: "No, I'm good with shaving."
J: "Besides, it'd be dangerous with a laser and all."
Me: "Not really, they're highly trained with lasers, like Jedi."
J: "Yeah...." - - - L O N G - - - pause...
J: "I don't think it'd be so safe after all. If they sneezed, they'd clearly loose control of the laser which would really cause problems. Shaving's a good idea."

Point made. Next step, purchase stock in disposable razors.

Sneaking off...

I did it. I managed to sneak away for a night without the husband or kids. I'm not all too sure if it's a good thing that I can't remember the last time I did this, but I'll admit it was lovely. Truth be told, I was gone just a shiver over 24 hours but it may as well have been days. It felt really good!

I tucked myself away with 5 friends at a girlfriend's house - all of us in hiding from our collective (nearly) 14 children; and I say nearly because one is a bun baking away in an oven. I've known this group of women over a decade. In days gone by, our night was heading downtown Minneapolis to eat, dance and sleep at a swanky hotel. We'd laugh about the adventure in the morning and plan to do it again. I really laughed as I looked around last night near midnight - we were all in lounge pants watching a movie as low-key as it gets. We ate ordered-in chinese, a home-made (to die for) chocolate cake and swapped stories on the very children we were retreating from. A group so very happy to be still and resting from the needs of children, husbands and outside pulls... regenerating with one another for the next leg of the race.

I'll admit it. I went to bed very happy and alone. No pillow sharing, listening in the night or any of this kind of thing on my mind:












Unbelievably, I slept until 9:15 AM. I haven't done that in years!

Everyone parted ways today to get back to reality. Admitttedly I lingered. I stayed longer, lounged on the couch and continued uninterrupted conversation. And, on my way home I decided to stretch it just a bit longer to see a movie that's been on my mind; Water for Elephants. Great movie and great getaway. My batteries are charged... what a great reminder that in the midst of a wild ride a little rest can go a very long day. I wonder if I can make it like shampoo... rinse and repeat?

P-R-O-M.

More photos to come. :-)

Autism Awareness

April is Autism Awareness month, a topic near and dear to the hearts of those in Tuney-land. The statistics are growing and absolutely staggering - when Jackson was diagnosed, it was 1 in 150 kids. Today, it's 1 in 110. The cause is unknown, despite the fanfare you'll hear in the news about chemicals, environment and (worst yet) immunizations. There are no conclusive links except for the fact that it's genetic.

If I could make five wishes about this month, they would be:

1) Education. I believe so many of our negative interactions with the world come from others not knowing and/or understanding that my perfectly NT (neurotypical) looking kid is articulate and brilliant with a secret side dish of social deficits, super-hearing, super-smell and serious sensitivities to unexpected touch. What kind of world would he live in if those around him (and not from our manufactured and modified world we create for him) knew how to better interact with him? Knew why he, and so many others, approach others and react the way they do?

2) Compassion. Walk a day in someone's shoes who has autism. Ever see the movie Temple Grandin? First, if you haven't- DO! Second, there is a poignant scene in the movie where she is trying to figure out what is spooking animals. Temple drops to her hands and knees and suddenly sees, hears and smells an extraordinary amount of helpful information. This is typical for someone on the spectrum - on their knees or not. They often see clearer, hear more and feel more deeply. What if started to understand what a day in the life is for these adults, teens, children and their families?

3) Appreciation. Instead of seeing the bad - look at the good. We talk a lot in our home about the special 'gifts' that have come along for the ride. Hearing, SEEing everything (and I mean, everything!), noticing the small stuff, smelling the details, knowing math intrinsically. There are so many gifts... what kind of world would we live in if we could help them truly believe in their gifts and not doubt themselves because of what others think?

4) Friends and Fairness. Autism can be very lonely. Without the social skills other kids have, many of these kids are rely on learning these skills from their support systems. In the process, for many who are mainstreamed, there is the worry of bullying, acceptance and being different. Although I love children (I clearly have two) I think they can be a bit like chickens - noticing something's different and picking over time. My wish is that each child on the spectrum be awarded just one or two good friends. I also wish for acceptance of each and every child struggling on the spectrum. What kind of world would we live in if it were simple? Friends being friends, no notice of odd words, gestures or otherwise.

5) Recognition. This is for the pioneers figuring it out, but this is ESPECIALLY for the teachers, therapists, educators and specialists who have dedicated their lives to children, teens and adults with autism. We've seen first hand the challenges they choose day after day because they want to make a difference in the lives of others. In our case, these people have helped shape our child to learn, grow and have fun along the way. To this group, we are forever endebted.

Last but not least, take notice. I did not include a wish that Autism never existed. As difficult as it can be, it has imprinted our souls and lives of many others. It's existence begs a true appreciation for all things and much brilliance through the years. Without it, maybe we'd run the risk of becoming complacent. With it, we have gifts that were never expected and a view most will never see.

Inspired? Check out Autism Speaks and The Autism Society of Minnesota. I personally challenge you to make a difference.